The day you give birth is a day you remember forever. You remember where you were, who you were with and how you felt. You remember if you felt respected and supported. You remember if you were empowered and understood. How you feel on that day is something you will carry with you for your entire life.
Delivering my Angel Baby
The day I delivered my angel baby Zennon was one of the worst days of my life. I went through labour and delivery knowing that I would not get to leave with my son. I felt so much sadness, heartbreak, disappointment and grief, but as much as circumstance would allow I also felt loved and respected.
The doctor and nurses were truly incredible. Through shift changes and new faces I was always met with tremendous kindness. They cared for me with true empathy for my loss. They supported me throughout my delivery, and gave me (us) as much time as needed to hold him, and say goodbye.
As I prepared to leave the hospital, the discharge nurse looked at me kindly and said “You are going to be ok again sweetie” and in that moment I burst into tears. This wonderful nurse not only hugged me and held me, but she started crying too. I could see how much she cared and wished I didn’t have to be going through this. She didn’t pull away, but instead held me as long as I needed and when I stepped back, she wiped my tears, and then her own.
In that moment of genuine human kindness, I no longer felt “alone” in my grief. She helped me know that it was okay to be feeling all of the heartbreak, and it was truly what I needed.
It was an awful, terrible and heartbreaking experience; but as much as I remember all of the hardship, I also remember the kindness and love from that nurse, who went above and beyond to ensure I felt okay.
My Second Birth
I have since been blessed to have an amazing birthing experience where I laughed and cried, but this time for entirely different reasons. After going through labour and delivery, I got to hold my breathing, smiling, beautiful son. The experience was amazingly healing. I am grateful that I can look back and remember feeling so much love, all over again.
My Birth Team supported me, respected me and made me feel empowered. Even when I was scared, nervous and unsure if I would be able to do it, they made me feel unstoppable. I am so happy to say that I walked away from my birth truly believing in myself and my strength. It was a big part of why I decided to become a Doula.
While my birth experiences were so incredibly different, I can honestly say what I remember most is how I felt during them both. And although one experience was tremendously sad and painful, and the other joyful and powerful, in both I felt totally and beautifully loved and supported.
That is what I want and hope for all mama’s giving birth.I hope that they too will remember it as a highlight in their lives, knowing they did their best and even if it does not play out how they imagined that they were supported, empowered and loved by a kind and caring birth team.
I would love to hear how you felt during your birth? Were you pleased with your experience or was there something you would have done differently? Comment Below or on our Facebook Page.