For some moms seeing a positive pregnancy test is nothing but absolute joy, but for MANY others there are mixed emotions that come from a positive pregnancy test.
During my first pregnancy I had a feeling I was pregnant. My husband and I had been “not not trying” and after peeing on that stick I was quite expecting to see a positive sign. Well just because I was expecting it doesn’t mean I wasn’t still absolutely shocked. Thinking you might be pregnant and then actually having it confirmed are VERY different things.
Max and I stood in the tiny bathroom of our house and stared at the test for what felt like a half hour. We were happy of course but if I am being honest I was FREAKING OUT! In that one moment everything changed. I was now responsible for a tiny little human in my belly and it felt like the world was now sitting on my shoulders. I had a hard time falling asleep that night, thinking about all of the changes that would occur during the upcoming months.
Even though it was planned, it was still a big shock.
I didn’t really feel comfortable sharing at the time that I was both excited and terrified by being pregnant. Yes we had planned it, yes this baby would very much be loved and yes we were in an okay place financially to have a baby. But despite all that it was still a big shock. I mean there was now a human growing inside me, that in nine months I would be pushing out and taking care of for the rest of my life. It was (and is) a big deal.
Each pregnancy is unique and each family is different. For some a positive pregnancy test may be something that has been anticipated for a very long time. For others it may be a complete and total shock. It doesn’t matter if it’s someone’s first or fifth baby, pregnancy is still a big life transition and can take a period of adjustment.
Feeling Guilty About Not Being 100% Overjoyed.
There can be a lot of guilt associated with not being 100% happy about a pregnancy. Some may feel if they aren’t overjoyed then it makes them a bad mom. Others worry it means they love their babies less. Of course neither of these are true. Everyone is allowed to feel anxious and even terrified about being pregnant. Those feelings and emotions are valid. It does not make you any less of a parent. It simply means you are human.
So if you are in the midst of seeing a positive pregnancy test and are freaking the hell out, know that it is okay. Having mixed emotions can be totally normal, and in no way, shape or form does this mean you will not be a kick ass mom, if that is what you want. <3.
If you are feeling anxious in your first trimester (or any period during your pregnancy) you can check out our Anxiety During Pregnancy Series. (Find it all here).