To the moms who don’t have “easy” babies, I feel you. I feel you so freaking hard.
I realize now that I entirely took for granted what a content baby my first son was. He literally just ate, slept, cuddled and repeat. It was easy. I remember his newborn stage with such fond memories: going to the movies, spending time with friends and endless baby cuddles.
My second son is not an “easy” baby. While I am insanely grateful that at this moment in time (knock on wood) he doesn’t spend all day crying or anything like that, he is still not “easy”.
Learning to figure him out has been a challenge to say the least. He is fussy. He likes what he likes and he has no problem telling you if he doesn’t. He is unsettled a lot of the time and it can be exhausting and overwhelming trying to find something that makes him content. He likes to be on the move constantly which keeps me forever on my toes.
Am I Doing Something Wrong?
If he was my first baby I am certain beyond all doubt I would be taking this personally. I would assume that I am doing something wrong. Afterall, shouldn’t a mom be able to soothe her baby? Not necessarily. Some babies are fussier than others and despite parents’ best efforts they do not settle as calmly as other babies.
Sometimes no matter how hard parents try babies will not get “milk drunk” and take a 2-3 hour nap. Or no matter what you do they will have a fussy time and be unhappy for several hours. (Most babies have a fussy time!) Sometimes no matter what you do it won’t seem to do “the trick” and that has got to be okay.
I have spent hours upon hours Googling about fussy babies and how to get them to settle. I have searched and tried to figure out if this is something he will grow out of or if it’s just his personality. At this point I have come to the conclusion that I have no freaking clue. The only thing I know for sure as of right now is that every baby is different and while one may be easier than another, it doesn’t make them love you any less.
Learning How to Be Miller’s Mom
I’d be lying if I said I wish my little man wasn’t content like his brother because having an “easy” baby was delightful. But adjusting my expectations has been key to accepting the differences between my two boys. Miller is very much teaching me how to be HIS mother (and here I was all “cocky” thinking I knew how to be a mother already lol). I am slowly but surely trying to figure out what he likes and doesn’t like and what calms him and frustrates him. Our dynamic is vastly different than the early newborn days with Gibson but I am confident that Miller is here to help me learn and develop. This experience will ultimately come to be a time of important lessons and growth and even if some days it is freaking hard it is definitely worth the challenges.
So to all the other moms out there who do not have “easy” babies know that it is not your fault. Remember that you are doing a great job. And please believe and understand that you are without a doubt an amazing mother and your baby loves you (even if they don’t always show it.)