I am Ending the War with my Mom Body
It has been 13 months since I gave birth to my handsome little man, and I can honestly say I am nowhere near my pre-pregnancy body. Those 13 months have been filled with a lot of love, sleepless nights and so many lessons. It was also a year filled with so much transition I can hardly keep track of it all but the biggest changes include having a baby, losing our family pet, moving to a new home/community, and renting our old house.
Needless to say this year has been busy, and challenging and wonderful all at the same time. In these 13 months getting back to my pre-pregnancy body was not necessarily my main focus, however I would be lying if I said I wish it hadn’t just magically happened.
However in the last couple of months I have noticed my inner dialogue becoming very hard on myself about the way I look.
Every time I looked in the mirror I beat myself up.
Every time I saw a picture of myself I beat myself up.
Every time I tried on clothes I beat myself up.
It has seriously been exhausting hating the way I look so I am “Ending the War” with my Post-pregnancy Body.
My Body is Transitioning too
It has become clear to me recently that just as my life has been transitioning so has my body. Transition is defined as: “the process or a period of changing from one state or condition to another.” This sounds pretty spot on for how I feel about my body, and in all honesty, how I have felt for the past two years.
My body has been through pregnancy and loss, birth and breastfeeding. It has had a tiny human take up residency in my uterus and moved many of my organs to make space for him. This body has gained and lost weight and gained some after that. It is not done changing, so perhaps transition is the perfect word to describe where my body and I are at.
I am (for the most part) loving this time in my life. Even with all the changes and challenges it has been one of the most rewarding phases I have ever experienced. I love, love, love being a mom and I also love our new home and new city. The one thing that seems to be missing is loving myself in the process.
I Don’t Want to be at War Anymore.
I am confident that a day will come when things will slowly shift into the semblance of a routine, and these transitions will resolve. When that time comes I will welcome it and embrace the “change.” But I am NOT willing to wait to start being kind to myself. Being at war with my body has been difficult and exhausting and, quite simply I don’t want to do it any more.
So I will be treating myself as I would a friend, and giving myself the love and kindness that I would give to them. I am working on changing my inner dialogue from finding my flaws to noticing all of me that is lovely. This process may take some time and a lot of self-compassion, but it is worth the effort to come back to loving myself.
So here’s to all the moms out there whose bodies and lives are transitioning. May we welcome it with open arms and give ourselves some love, because underneath the chaos of all this change is still an incredible human being, who is beautiful and so incredibly lovely in this exact moment.
To read “To the Mom who has Gained Weight AFTER giving Birth, You are not alone” CLICK HERE
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