The Blissful Doula, Doula, Sudbury, Motherhood, Mom, Pregnant, Pregnancy, Marriage

I’ve always been told that having children will transform your entire life.

Everything changes:
Your responsibilities;
Your extracurricular activities;
Your fears and worries;
And your relationships!

While all of the above are very true, I have to admit that I could have never predicted the ways in which my relationship has changed.

I am blessed with an amazing husband and there is no doubt in my mind that marrying him was one of the best decisions of my life. However, I don’t think that I fully understood all the ways that our relationship would change after having a child. Nor did I anticipate  how much of an adjustment would truly take place.

1. We Stay at Home (A LOT)

Before having our son, my husband and I spent our days enjoying our freedom and embracing adventures. We loved going out, spending time with friends and seeing wherever the day might take us. Our days now look vastly different. We spend the majority of our time at home, not because we no longer enjoy going out, but because our parental responsibilities take priority over our social desires. Nap times, bed time and early mornings all influence our daily routine and social availability.

Our home is a safe zone, babyproofed to the best of our abilities. We know where everything is and have made it very challenging for our son to get into anything harmful, so we are able to relax (a little) more at home. Out and about he touches everything, and 99.9% of everything he touches goes into his mouth.  While I am a believer in letting him ingest some germs to improve his immune system, the idea of allowing him to drink somebody’s dishsoap terrifies me. So staying home often wins out simply because of ease and convenience.

2. Our Travel is Significantly Different

We love to travel and thoroughly enjoy experiencing new cultures and taking in the scenery. Now we spend much of our travelling time driving aimlessly around Sudbury giving Mr. Gibson enough time to get in a solid nap when he falls asleep in the car. We try to make good use of this time to chat and catch up, because at home our conversations are much different now.

Other travel includes driving to or from my parents’ home (3 hours away) and strategically planning when to leave around Gibson’s sleep and mood, as both will influence the stress level and enjoyment of the drive.

3. Adult Conversation is in Short Supply

We spend our days chatting with a fourteen month-old. Our vocabulary consists of “No, that will give you bo bo’s”, “Gibson get out of there”, “Good job buddy”, “Good listening”, “Sit on your bum” (while he is constantly standing up in the bath tub), and “Do you want some num nums” Riveting right!? lol This surprisingly takes up a big portion of our days leaving much less time for intriguing conversations, or even a simple catch up.

Our evenings consist of watching “House of Lies”, “Suits”, “The Mindy Project” or “Roadkill” on Netflix. And while we are technically in the same room, we are both so mentally and physically tired that engaging in some adult conversation sometimes falls to the wayside. Hence we sit together embracing the silence and enjoying the calmness while Gibson is asleep for a couple of hours.

4. Sleep Trumps Together Time

We NEVER get to wake up at the same time, as one of us gets to sleep in while the other gets up with the little man. While it is fabulous getting to sleep, I must admit I miss waking up and having tea and coffee together, or making pancakes and enjoying them together. By the time the one sleeping gets up, it is the other’s turn to go back to bed and the cycle continues.

Different but still Wonderful

Our relationship is at a very different stage, and I’d be lying if I said that I didn’t miss how it used to be. It is no longer all romance and dinner dates, but instead very much strategies for sleep and spending time as a family. While it may not be as exciting as it once was, it is still wonderful in its own unique way.  Let’s face it. The “only constant in this world is change” and that is especially true as parents.

In 15 years when Gibson is a teenager, he isn’t going to want to spend this time with us.  He is going to want to do his own thing. At that time when Max and I are left to ourselves again I can guarantee we will miss all of these little things that currently fill up our days:  bath time, driving around while he sleeps, kissing his “bo bos” and teaching him words. When that time comes we will miss this stage of parenting but for now we will embrace it. And while we are still very much husband and wife our roles as Mom and Dad simply take up more time right now. It will all balance out as long as we work hard at both roles and appreciate each other along the way!

We always love to hear from you guys!  Are these things you have experienced or are there other ways that your relationship has changed during pregnancy or parenting!? Let us know below or over on our Facebook Page 🙂 

You may also like I Miss My Husband 
If you are expectant or new parents and wondering how a Doula can help you both through Pregnancy, Birth and Parenting feel free to contact us anytime or we can set up a FREE Consultation to answer any of your questions!

The Blissful Doula, Sudbury, Birth, Doula, Pregnancy, Birth Centre, Hospital

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